how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
