a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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