i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
