Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
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