I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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