They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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