I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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