I am in a vortex of obligation.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I skipped work to stalk him.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
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