How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
