He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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