Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
