So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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