Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
