You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
