11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
