You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
