Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
