is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize