New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize