Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Randomize
