If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
