Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Man, jail baloney is awful.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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