I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
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