he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
