so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I had to cum in my sink.
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