the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
