Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(630): View more from Illinois

batman just walked across the sidewalk

(1-630): View more from Illinois

lay off the drugs

(630): View more from Illinois

no for real he was wearing a cape

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(630): View more from Illinois

i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head

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(703): View more from Virginia

swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."

(202): View more from Washington, DC

buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.

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(519): View more from Ontario

dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes

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(518): View more from New York

i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.

(202): View more from Washington, DC

and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with

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(716): View more from New York

she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper

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(309): View more from Illinois

Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.

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(720): View more from Colorado

If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.

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(213): View more from California

Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral

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