If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
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