ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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