I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
