the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
