dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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