Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I think I sprained my soul last night
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
