We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
