google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
