i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Randomize
