she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Randomize
