Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I have aggressive nipples.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
