The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
