There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
