also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
