I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
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