the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
