Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
honey bunches of taint.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
