? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
