wrigley field is MILF paradise
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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