Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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