You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
