i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
