I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
