your room smells of hookers.
And success
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize