Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
