just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
