the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
