You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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