so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
