I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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