hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
sarcasm needs its own font
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
