is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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