U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
