i permit you to call me
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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