Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
