hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
we made out on top of his cat.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Congratulations! We have a period
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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