i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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